By: Nicki Reid, Bilingual BA
I recently listened to a podcast / youtube video called: “Stop Feeling Guilty” by two phenomenal Black women who I’ve had the absolute pleasure of crossing paths with in this lifetime. You can watch the episode on the channel “A Likkle of This & A Little A Dat.” (or anywhere you listen to podcasts i.e. Spotify, Apple Podcasts, etc.) by the lovely Phiona of Phiona Speaks, who wears many hats. She is the owner of Coconut Village Spa, founder of the Aurora Black Community, and many more. This discussion featured Leticia Osei, a registered psychotherapist, nurse, and dedicated youth and mental health coordinator in the Black community. Visit Leticia’s Instagram at Leticia Osei Psychotherapy, see her website here, and check her out on Psychology Today. The topic of discussion was self care. I resonated so much with this episode and it also left me with a few thoughts that I’ll be sharing with you in this blog.
The meaning of self care has been diminished due to its overuse and commodification. As a result when (some) people hear self care, they may roll their eyes and rightfully so. However, it is important that we reclaim the meaning of self care because it is essential to our existence (more on this later on).
What is self care? Merriam Webster’s definition of self care is to: care for oneself.
What does self care look like? I personally believe that it varies from person to person and may also look different depending on what season of life you’re in.
The cost of self care. I truly dislike how capitalism has commodified self care because in my heart of hearts, I believe that everyone should have access to and be able to care for themselves without having to pay an astronomical amount. Self care isn’t a luxury, it is a necessity. Caring for ourselves is necessary in order to function as individuals and get through our days. It is especially important if you are in a caregiving role in any capacity; whether you’re a parent / guardian, teacher, nurse, etc.
The cost of not doing self care. I know from my lived experience what happens when you don’t take the time to take care of yourself. Take it from me, you do not want to be forced by your body to take care of yourself. I know what it’s like to lead a full life - to work three jobs for a combined 70+ hours a week and be a full time student commuting to different campuses in various parts of the city. I didn’t take care of myself, my sleep was non-existent, I was a bag of nerves, my anxiety was through the roof, I was situationally depressed, my appetite was shot. It eventually led to me burning out which was a dark time in my life. My takeaway from that experience was the importance of creating time for yourself. Whether it’s 15 minutes, half an hour, half a day, a whole day - whatever it is. Maybe you incorporate that time as a part of your daily (morning / evening) routine or it’s a (bi)weekly occurrence. Whatever that looks like for you, do it. You need to recharge your mind, body, soul, and spirit so that you can live sustainably. I encourage you to do what you can and be intentional about creating this space for yourself.
Self care ideas: making self care accessible. On the podcast, one idea that was mentioned using your benefits for massage therapy. Side note: I highly recommend listening to the podcast because there were so many gems shared. Another idea was soaking in your bathtub with Epsom salt. If you’d like to enhance your soaking experience, you may play some relaxing music, read a book, and / or light a candle. If you prefer to just be in the tub, take a moment to tune into the present moment. Observe the temperature of the water, the sounds in your environment, the things you see, what you hear.
My primary love language is quality time, so having alone time is critical for my well being. Some other no cost / low cost things that I do to take care of myself are:
If you are like who I once was and don’t know where to start, some other ideas that have been helpful to me that you may like are:
To summarize, if you take nothing else away from this blog, please know that self care doesn’t have to be anything extravagant or what you see online, nor does it have to break the bank.
As I close out this blog, I want to leave you with a gentle reminder. As helpful as the aforementioned things are, sometimes doing absolutely nothing is self care. Give yourself permission to exist as you are, where you are, just be, and breathe.
I wish you and your families a year full of ease, rest, peace, joy, prosperity, health, and more in abundance. Take deep care and be well, mama.
Nicki Reid, Bilingual BA
Certified Transformational Coach | Certified Essential Oil Specialist |
Certified ARōMATOUCH Practitioner | 200 YTT , Wholesome Mind Health Coaching