Dear Mama: A Loving Reminder to Black Mamas Everywhere

By: Nicki Reid, Bilingual BA

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Dear Mama,

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Mother’s Day is coming up and it can evoke a variety of emotions for different people. I wanted to take a moment and check in with you and see how you’re doing. So, how are you? How are you feeling? How are you breathing? How are you sleeping? Do you have any upcoming plans for Mother’s Day? Before you answer the last question, I want to gently remind you that whether you want to go out and be celebrated or if you’re looking to spend your day on a low-key note at home, or even if you want to be alone that’s okay. These are all perfectly acceptable ways to spend your day. Don’t feel that you need to give in to the pressure of this man-made holiday. Don’t let anybody guilt you or take your agency to choose away from you. Your celebration should look like whatever you want it to, so if it doesn’t follow the traditional path - that’s okay. For what it’s worth, in my humble (unsolicited) opinion, I believe that everyday is Mother’s Day. We should be celebrated everyday for all that we do. Regardless of where you are and what you choose to do, I want to let you know that…

If Mother’s Day is a day of reflection and healing for you due to the complicated relationship with your own mother or the mother figure in your life, I see you.

If you’re on the path of mothering your child(ren) differently than how you were mothered and are breaking generational curses of generations passed and healing future generations, I see you.

If Mother’s Day is a day of celebration for you, I see you.

If you’ve been burning the midnight oil and you’ve been up at all hours of the day and night with your baby (hello breastfeeding mamas), I see you.

If you can’t tell the last time you’ve had a restful night’s sleep, I see you.

If you remember the last time you’ve had a restful night’s sleep, I see you.

If you feel exhausted, frustrated, sad, anxious, I see you.

If you feel like a failure, I see you.

If you feel like you’re drowning in the demands of motherhood, I see you.

If you’re on the verge of tears, I see you.

If you’ve broken down into tears, I see you.

If you’re doubting your abilities to be a “good” and present mom, I see you.

If you feel like you’re unsure of what you’re doing and it’s preventing you from showing up for yourself and your family, I see you.

If you feel like you’re unsure of what you’re doing and you’re still showing up for yourself and your family, I see you.

If you’re in the trenches of motherhood, I see you.

If you miss the person you were before kids, I see you.

If you feel disconnected from yourself, I see you.

If you’re mourning the life you had envisioned for yourself, I see you.

No matter where you are on your mothering journey; you are seen, felt, heard, and you are not alone. Motherhood doesn’t come with a handbook, sure, there are plenty of parenting books out there that may be helpful to you - but none of them speak to the infinite possibilities and probabilities that (could) exist. With every season comes a new experience, a new challenge. So, take a deep breath in and out. Be where you are, embrace where you are at, and know that you will make it through on the other side. Time is fleeting. The days are long, but the years are short. Do the best you can with what you have. Continue to show up as you are whether you feel like you’re a hot mess or you feel like you’ve mastered this, show up even if you feel fearful, doubtful, and uncertain. Trust in yourself and your abilities. When things don’t go as planned, pause, learn, pivot, and keep moving forward with one foot in front of the other. Always remember; you got this, mama.

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Much love, health, and abundance to you mama.

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Nicki Reid, Bilingual BA

Certified Transformational Coach | Certified Essential Oil Specialist |

Certified ARōMATOUCH Practitioner | 200 YTT , Wholesome Mind Health Coaching

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